Everything to Gain
In a questionnaire to be submitted to CMT, all the 2007 contestants were asked, “What is the one thing you have learned from competing in pageants?” I’ve learned so much through my Miss America competition through the years, but the most important thing I’ve learned is how to gain from losing. Since our answers were supposed to be kept to one to two sentences and it just kills me to be so concise, I’ve decided to use this space to elaborate on this important life-skill.
Most people have a very narrow definition of ‘losing.’ To the average person ‘losing’ is defined by ‘not winning’. For those of you who may not be familiar with me or the Miss Michigan program, you may not realize that I have made a fairly good pageant career through the years ‘losing’. While I have been fortunate enough to win at the local level (this is necessary in order to qualify for the state competition), my final placement at the state pageant for four years was ‘not the winner’ and thereby the ‘loser’ according to the popular definition.
Fortunately, in the Miss America Organization, ‘not winning’ does not mean ‘losing.’ Sometimes the winner could have won more by losing often than she did by winning on her first try. Furthermore, most times the ‘losers’ actually win more than the winners. Some of the biggest ‘losers’ I know have won more than most of the biggest ‘winners’ I know. If you think is confusing you should try to figure out our new scoring system!
So if ‘not winning’ doesn’t mean ‘losing’ than what does it mean? Well, it can mean many things for different people but the two most obvious are 1) Scholarship Money, and 2) A chance to come back and win more scholarship money! Through the years, I got particularly good at winning by losing. I was able to compete in a total of 13 MAO pageants including 5 at the state level and 2 at the national level! I earned more than $20,000 in scholarships BEFORE winning the state title. This is why I say that it sometimes pays better to lose – I earned more losing than many of our Miss Michigan’s earned winning.
I won a lot of other things besides the scholarships ‘losing’ than I ever would had I ‘won’. I won experience, confidence and grace. I won the ability to laugh at myself. I won the chance to closely watch and learn from 5 other Miss Michigans and create a clear picture of what I would be like in that role. I won the knowledge and time to develop a deep appreciation and respect for MAO. I won the opportunity to know and represent 4 different areas of the state. I won the opportunity to work closely with 4 exceptional women who each taught me something new. Finally, I won the understanding that winning is good – but it isn’t everything. I won and mastered the ability to work harder than I ever thought possible for something and continue to grow. I won the ability to not be afraid of losing. This is perhaps the most valuable thing I have gained – the understanding that all there is to be won through competing in MAO can be won long before the curtain ever opens.
In life, we have the opportunity to gain so much – win or lose. Learning to seek out the rewards and lessons no matter where you finish, is something that I encourage everyone to apply to their lives. You may not get the job, you may not get the house, you may not get the guy – but there is always something to be gained. Look for it. Find it. Claim it. Live it. And never again will you rely on someone else to control how you finish.
